Now I don't want to get off on a rant here...

PEACEMAKERS: Confession Brings Freedom

Our college and careers ministry, Spectrum, is going through a series on peacemaking. The first lesson I led was on conflict providing opportunities for us to glorify God, serve others and grow to be like Christ.

This past week’s lesson was on the freedom that is found in confession by recognizing our role in conflict and gently restoring these relationships.

The Confessional

When we kneel before the foot of the cross we are humbled and joyful at His sacrifice for us and reminded of our need for confession, for repentance. It is difficult not to see our brokenness in light of His.

Examples of Broken Relationships (taken from PostSecret)

• “I hate my father because he cheated on my mother, on my family, but really it’s because I don’t want to admit that I AM just like him...”
• “I pretend that losing my virginity to him didn’t matter, but it’s only to hide the regret I feel knowing that he took it and ran”
• “People think I’ve stopped lying, but I’ve just gotten better at it”
• “His temper is so scary that I’ve lost all my opinions”

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 (Finding strength in our weakenesses)

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

MORE THAN A FEELING – EXAMINE YOURSELF

Our confession, repentance and sorrow must be more than a feeling. There must be change, must be something to act on. To repent literally means to change the way we think. There are two ways to look at sorrow. A worldly sorrow is being sad we got caught and of the consequences forthcoming, while a Godly Sorrow is recognizing we offended God.

Looking at our own hearts we can see so many ways we can, will and do offend God. We sin by failing to do what God commands, by doing what God forbids, by omission or doing nothing in certain situations and by shifting blame and not accepting responsibility for our own actions.

Sometimes we have difficulty recognizing our role in sin, our role in conflict. When this happens we should turn to prayer, God’s Word and wise counsel to help us see the error of our ways. This will aide in our confession and understanding of repentance.

WAYS WE SIN

1. Using our tongues as weapons

a) Slander (Leviticus 19:16) – speaking false, malicious words about another person
b) Falsehood (Proverbs 24:28) – includes lying exaggeration, telling half-truths, destroying trust
c) Reckless Words (Proverbs 12:8) –saying what springs to mind without thinking about consequences
d) Gossip (Proverbs 16:28) – betraying a confidence or discussing unflattering personal facts about a person
e) Worthless Talk (Ephesians 4:25) – careless, critical, meaningless words not designed to benefit others
f) Grumbling & Complaining (James 5:9) – when others feel we are critical or ungrateful

2. Controlling Others (2 Timothy 2: 25) - Rather than control or impose our beliefs or our views on others we are to “gently instruct”.

3. Breaking our word (Psalm 15:4) - When you make a promise – Mean it and keep it – learn from your mistake if you didn’t mean it.

4. Failing to respect authority (Romans 13:1-7) - All authority comes under the rule of God’s authority and that must be respected, honored and obeyed.

5. Forgetting the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) - Treat others with love and respect for this shows love and respect to God – be reconciled to one another.

6. Serving Sinful Desires (1 John 2:15-17) - The sinfulness of this world seeks to corrupt our hearts by taking our focus off the love of our Heavenly Father. We are tempted by lust, pride, love of money, fear of man and good things that we want too much.

SEVEN A’s OF CONFESSION

1. Address everyone involved. In doing so we recognize that heart sin is only against God and social sin is against others. Our confession should reach as far as our offense.

2. Avoid “if”, “but”, and “maybe”. These are words used to shift blame and minimize or excuse our guilt. IF is a superficial statement to transfer fault, BUT cancels all the words that precede it, and MAYBE will neutralize the rest of our confession. Even words such as HOWEVER and PERHAPS are just the smart mans BUT and MAYBE and should be avoided.

3. Admit specifically. This will convince others of our honesty and show genuine repentance. It will identify behavior that needs to change and deal with our actions as well as attitudes. It is also wise to identify the biblical principles violated, showing a genuine heart for confession.

4. Acknowledge the hurt. We will show that we understand how the other person felt or open an opportunity to learn by asking. By acknowledging their feelings we validate that we know we contributed to this.

5. Accept the consequences. By doing so we will show our willingness to work hard to make restitution.

6. Alter your behavior. We ought to be making attitude, character and behavior changes when we confess. To enforce this change we should seek accountability and acknowledge that we are depending upon God for change.

7. Ask forgiveness; allow time. Rather than say, “I’m sorry” we should look to say, “Please forgive me”. This will frame our apology, our confession, our sorrow over doing something wrong in a humble light. We also may have to exercise patience and be willing to give the person time to truly forgive us. Not all forgiveness can come so quickly.

YOU CAN CHANGE

In order to make a change we must recognize we can’t do it alone and that God must play an integral part in our transformation. Fortunately we can rest assured our prayers are heard and pray for growth, strength, and to be clothed with the righteousness of Christ. We should delight ourselves in the Lord by trusting in His everlasting promises.

Change is much like building and sustaining authentic relationships and we must be intentional about this process. If we take this to heart we will find ourselves studying God’s word seeking the wisdom and knowledge necessary to deal with our need to change. We will also develop a disciplined practice as Paul encourages in Philippians 4:9, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you”. What a great promise?! If we are willing to be intentional about our need for change, we will experience the joys and peace of being in fellowship with God.

When we kneel before the foot of the cross we are humbled and joyful at His sacrifice for us and reminded of our need for confession, for repentance. It is difficult not to see our brokenness in light of His. And we have the pleasure of resting in His promise of sufficient grace and turning our weakness into strength (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10).

Posted by price at July 20, 2005 04:07 PM | TrackBack