Fade in on man and women eating dinner
“Oh I’m full, I can’t eat anymore!”
“Just put it in your purse”
“What?!”
“Yeah, just put it in your purse. We don’t need to bother the waitress with getting one of those boxes. It’ll be fine.”
“But it’s soup?!”
“What’s your point?”
Fade out
Fade in on man and kid standing in room with other kids
“Is it okay to eat one of those cupcakes?”
“I’m not sure, but just to be safe, put one in your pocket when you get a chance so no one will see!”
“It’s a cupcake though”
“Yeah I know!”
Fade out
To a man, namely this man but I'm sure I speak for others, nature’s napkin can be the inside of his pockets or even his socks. We aren’t burdened by such dainty exploits like manners or proper hygiene. We are free to be creative and always find the most sensible solution to any given problem. Just because liquid would leak from a purse or the icing from a cupcake would come off in your pocket, is no reason to not employ these excellent ideas when you are in a fix.
Even Napoleon Dynamite would agree with this line of thinking. This is a man who puts [tater] tots in his pocket to save them for later. It’s a perfect solution when you are sitting in the cafeteria; know you will be hungry later in class and need to munch on something.
And what a better place than your pocket? They stay warm, readily available and best of all; you are using all your resources to your advantage. Tree huggers around the world should all take a lesson from Napoleon. This is a brave new world we are entering and may it be known that I have been making decisions like these for years now! We all need to do our part to conserve.
Posted by price at January 18, 2005 02:07 PM