June 23, 2004

Chivalry is not dead

I was reminded on Sunday of this very true fact. As every aspiring romantic, especially one that is about to be wed to the woman of his dreams, I try to be graciously gallant by my bride to be. Whenever possible, and I always make it possible, I will open the door (car, house, store, etc.) for Amy. The only exception to this rule would be when my hands are full because I’m carrying everything for her (as I jokingly tell her she isn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than six pounds), or when we are getting out of the car. Getting out of the car to open the door for her then just doesn’t seem pragmatically possible in a day and age where you need to cram 36 hours of work into 24.

I have often been scoffed at or heard whispers and chuckles as I go out of my way to open her car door or run around her to open the store door for her, but I have not let this deter me. On Sunday, I witnessed what I can only hope will be my same fate. As I was walking towards my car to leave church, I saw an older gentleman opening the door for his wife and closing it gently behind her.

‘Awww, what a gentleman’, I yelled.
He replied with a smile.
‘How long have you two been married?’
‘Forty years!’
‘Wow, that’s great that you still open the door for her. I only hope I continue to be that faithful to my wife in forty years.’
‘People will laugh, but don’t pay any attention to them. You just keep on doing it.’

And with that exchange I was reminded that while chivalry and manners may be a lost art form, they are most certainly not extinct. I know that I fail Amy in so many ways, but when I have the opportunity to treat her like the princess she is and my queen to be, I try to capitalize on it. How else would one treat his own flesh?

“This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh…” (Genesis 2: 23)

Posted by price at June 23, 2004 11:07 PM
Comments

heh, I'm not sure I can relate... Being that I'm 15, I haven't had the chance to do such--though i do attempt at things like that when in the company of females, so I can agree that it can feel awkward sometimes, but one can only try.

Posted by: Mark at June 24, 2004 10:12 PM

Now that is a man... Found you linked via blogs4god and I am very happy to read this... :) I'll be certainly checking in more.

Posted by: TravisM at June 26, 2004 12:05 PM

but...*sniff* you didn't find ME by way of blogs4god!!!

Posted by: Mark at June 27, 2004 12:00 AM

True chivalry is done not out of a heart of pride as the man lording authority over the weaker woman to care for her(as was often enacted in Medieval times), rather it is tempered by love and humility, forged in the shadows of the cross. As ones who have been loved and forgiven more radically than any other human being ever could, the Holy Spirit enables Christians to love and forgive others out of gratitude for Christ's work on our behalf. To move from the abstract to the concrete, Jeff is a living testimony of this to me. His true chivalry was demonstrated to me last night. I primed a room in our future house and the fumes made me incredibly sick. I ended up throwing up for an entire night, but Jeff stayed by my side the whole time. He held my hand, he brought me drinks, he gave me medicine, and he comforted me as I struggled through the sickness, not being able to find rest. After I finally fell asleep, he left and went to sleep on a couch downstairs, not wanting to go home in case I got sick again. And he stayed awake until 4:00 in the morning worried that I might need him. This is what my friend Julie calls one of those jewels of love to hold on to. I will put this memory in the treasure box ever remembering his act of service that could only come out of a heart that has been radically loved and forgiven. He is my example of chivalry, my knight on a white horse, not because he is perfect, and not because I depend on him for my survival (the Lord is first in my life, and He is my ultimate Strength), but because he is a warrior for me in the battle of life. He is the one God has created to be my helper, my friend, and my intimate ally through the amazing journey God has prepared for us both.

Posted by: Your adoring fiancee at July 1, 2004 03:27 PM